20w4d

To my son:

Today we got to meet you and find out that you are, in fact a boy. Although with as strong of a feeling as I have had since 5 weeks I'm not really sure we would have needed the ultrasound to begin painting and decorating for a boy.

I can honestly say that I can not remember a time in my life when I have felt such awe and wonder. Before we got to the ultrasound room I was a little nervous, as I always am before they listen to your heartbeat or show you to me on ultrasound. I love you SO much already that my whole world would crumble around my feet if anything were to happen to you. Therefore there is always that brief moment, right before I hear or see you that my heart skips a beat waiting for the sound of yours.

Today, I'm pretty sure my heart grew 10 sizes. There was so much debate about whether we should have a second ultrasound but I can tell you right now that even if it costs me a $1,000 it will be the best money I have ever spent. To be able to see your nose and your little toes and hands fills me with more joy than I thought I could ever feel.

Of course your daddy was also there to see you. He's a tough one to read but as soon as the ultrasound technician said you were a boy the smile on his face was un-mistakable. Now don't get me wrong, he would have been just as happy if you were a girl, but I think secretly every man wants a son first. From that point on he was too busy calling every person in the free world to tell them the news to pay much attention to what the ultrasound tech was doing.

But don't you worry. I was paying enough attention for the both of us. From the time that wand touched my stomach to the time she took it away the tears did not stop flowing from my eyes and I was glued to that screen. Even though I got to see you for almost 30 minutes when it was all over a little piece of my heart ached to see you again.

Luckily, we won't have to wait too long until you are here with us for good. Now we just have to get your room ready for you and get you something to wear and we will be all set. So my little one, enjoy your warm cozy home for the next four months or so. We will be here trying to get this one all ready for you.

But also please know that while the world out here is a little more chaotic, it is filled with all kinds of people who love you so very much and you can't wait to see your little face and count your little toes!!

Love always,
Your mommy