10w3d

Today was, without a doubt, the worst day I have had so far. I started feeling sick around 10:00 and it just continued to get worse. By 11:00 I decided I should go get something to eat to help me feel a little better. Eat… hmm… what could I eat?

I stood in the skywalk for awhile just feeling dumb. Every place I normally eat just made me want to gag. Finally I decided that I wanted a hot dog and some chips. Why? We will never know. So I headed over to the Maid-Rite. That is the only place downtown where you can get a hot dog and not come out smelling like an ashtray (i.e. Coney Island).

Once I got to the front of the line to order I realized that I was also REALLY craving a fountain pop. I figured one was NOT going to kill me so I just ordered the meal figuring the fries would be a fine substitute for the chips. When oh when am I going to learn that I am NOT in charge here!!

They handed me the hot dog and fries and immediately the smell got to me. I carried it back to the office and set the fries on one corner of my desk. When a co-worker walked by I asked him if he wanted them. Of course his reaction was what is wrong with them. Nothing that I know of, I just can’t stand the smell of them right now.

So, he took them away and I opened up the box that contained my hot dog. This was no Ball Park Frank though. This was one of those thick skinned jumbo franks. Already I could tell it was not what I wanted, but I figured I needed to at least eat SOME of what I bought. I went to the kitchen and got a plastic knife and proceeded to cut off small piece of the hot dog. Okay… not great… but not too bad.

I made it through about three bites when I decided maybe I should go down to Wal-greens to get those chips. I closed the box and went downstairs. Once I got back up, there was no part of the hot dog that even smelled appetizing. I opened the box back up and shoved in another bite or two. Then I began to gag and decided the hot dog was just not meant to be.

BUT… I had my chips. As it turns out, chips that I could not eat. It just gets better and better. I think this is by far the thing I am having the most trouble with. I have always just been able to eat things. Even if it didn’t sound all that great I could just eat it. Not anymore. And let me tell you, letting go of that control factor has been a BIG issue for me!! I’m so used to being in control of my body that these last few weeks have just been hell.

After striking out with the hot dog and the chips I resigned myself to saltines. Around 3:30 I started feeling REALLY sick and decided that enough was enough for the day. I felt so awful that I literally shuffled to my car. I’m not sure how long it took me to get there, I just kept telling myself as long as I am moving forward I have to get there eventually.

Once I got home I headed straight for the bathroom. I have never worked so hard at trying not to puke. Finally I decided I was just going to go to bed. If I was sleeping I wouldn’t feel so awful right? WRONG!! When I laid down this wonderful sore throat that Jake gave me would start to tickle. When it tickled I coughed. When I coughed I gagged and had to run down to the bathroom.

By the time Jake got home at about 6:00 I was throwing things off the couch figuring it was closer to the bathroom. He asked if he could make me anything and so when he started cooking I decided to take a bucket and go back upstairs. I was unsure what the smell would do to me and I didn’t need to feel worse.

I had just dozed off when he came up and told me the food was ready. I debated on telling him to eat without me, but figured I at least needed to give it a try as I knew it couldn’t make me feel worse. I ate about half a bowl of hamburger helper and surprisingly started to feel MUCH better.

So I got out my computer and tried to at least balance the checkbook. I did pretty well at getting things organized, although I think I probably would have been better off just going to sleep to try to get rested.