16w3d

This morning I had my AFP test. Now as most of you remember when we decided to do this test I was all for it. However, today as I was walking into work after having my blood drawn I started to really think about what the results of this test meant and suddenly I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.

I mean I still believe in all of the reasons that we decided to do this test, I just think as time has gone by, what I'm willing to do has changed. If the results are not fine I am definitely willing to jump right into a level two ultrasound. There is no risk to the baby from this and diagnostically they can rule out several things by doing one.

If, however, the problem can not be resolved by an ultrasound I'm just not sure how willing I am to have an amnio or any other evasive test. I love this baby so much already and I'm so protective of it that I can't imagine doing a test that has a risk of miscarriage without there being a medical necessity. Especially when it would be just that, a miscarriage. My little munchkin is too small right now to survive on his/her own.

However, down the road, say 30-32 weeks if they still think that an amnio is necessary I think I may be willing to change my mind. At that point it would most likely be a premature birth situation that we would be risking and while I don't WANT that most babies born at that gestational age do very well. However, with as strong as my feelings are to protect this child now, I have a feeling by the time I get to that stage, I may feel differently.