11w4d

Today was the first day I used Preggie Pops. There were two of them that came as a free sample when I ordered the doppler and I figured I might as well try them. They seemed to work alright, but only for the brief bouts of sickness. I managed to go all day without feeling too bad and so by the time I got home I was feeling pretty confident that maybe I was getting over this sickness stuff.

For that reason, when Jake called to ask if I wanted to watch fireworks on the river from his friend's boat I agreed, thinking with a few crackers and a couple of licks on that lollipop I would be fine. He said to meet him between 6:30 and 7:00 at the boat ramp because he was going to go water skiing and wasn't sure if I would want to be on the boat with it jerking around.

He also asked if I could bring him some food. I agreed, but told him I couldn't wait that long to eat so he would have to eat alone. As it was I had apparently waited too long and had more faith in those Preggie Pops than I should have because when I headed out to get myself some food at around 5:45 I didn't even make it out the front door and too my car before I ended up getting sick in the yard. One more thing I have done because of this pregnancy that I thought I would never do.

After that, I figured that going back inside was not going to make me feel any better because I still needed to eat so I sucked it up and went and got myself some food. I brought it home, at a little and then headed out to the boat ramp to meet Jake. Of course in my haste I forgot to grab any sort of snack food. You see where this is going don't you?

Riding in the boat it's self was not bad. The wind was whipping and the waters were not to rough so it was pretty enjoyable. However around 8:30 we parked the boat down stream from the bridge where the fireworks were being shot from and that's where things took a turn for the worst. The only thing I had to calm my stomach were those stupid lollipops and they were NOT working.

Luckily Jake's friend had some cheese crackers with peanut butter so I didn't end up getting sick. I downed a few of those, watched the fireworks, and then insisted that it was time to go home.

11w3d

I did not sleep well AT ALL last night. Jake was doing a side job overnight and I normally don't sleep all that well when he is gone, but last night was even worse. I kept waking up every hour to every hour and a half and then as I was trying to fall asleep every sound I heard I kept thinking was someone trying to break into my house to kill me.

So consequently, every hour to hour and a half I kept calling Jake asking when he would be home (even though I knew the answer). I could hear the hammering and sawing in the background of the guys he was working with and I'm sure they thought I was completely crazy. But, I'm pregnant, so they will just have to excuse it!!

Since I didn't sleep well, I was not all that thrilled when my alarm went off. I finally got out of bed around 7:30 and drug myself downstairs where Jake was watching the early show and drinking coffee. I'm pretty sure he knew not to speak to me by the look on my face but it was even more apparent to him when the cat meowed at me and I kicked the air in his general direction.

Once I got out of the shower I was beginning to feel a little more coherent. I headed upstairs to get dressed and had one leg of my pants on when I started to cough and got that all to familiar feeling in my stomach. For the past week or so I have just been able to breath through it and it subsides. This morning I had no such luck. I dropped my pants on the floor and sprinted down the stairs.

When I rounded the corner I noticed Jake was in the bathroom shaving in front of the mirror. All I could get out was the word "OUT!!" I think he got the hint though. Apparently the baby thought that since Danette did SUCH a good job cleaning yesterday I needed to get and up close and personal look at the great job she did on the toilet. All I can say is at least it was clean.

After that, I just figured my whole day was a crap shoot. I considered putting my PJ's back on and going back to bed but instead I got dressed and headed off to work. The rest of the day, unfortunately was not a whole lot better. For breakfast I had corn chips, I don't know... they looked good. Then for lunch I decided I would try subway.

Early on in the pregnancy just the thought of lunch meat made me nauseous. Then when I went to the Dr. he told me not to eat it unless it was heated up, so I have not had subway in several weeks. However, one of my friends goes to the same practice and during her appointment on Tuesday she saw my favorite doctor. He's my regular doctor and when she asked him about the lunch meat question he just rolled his eyes.

He told her that one person that he knows of who was pregnant got Lysteria from lunch meat and so that is what Dr. C was talking about. However, he said if you want to worry about one person, then technically you shouldn't eat anything because people have also gotten Lysteria from Ice Cream. His advice, don't eat green lunch meat, and don't eat lunch meat that has been in your fridge for awhile.

So, I thought what the heck, I'll try Subway. Yeah... still can't do Subway. I got half of a six inch sub down and that was enough. For some reason cold lunch meat still makes me gaggy. To top it all off, the rest of the afternoon was a crap shoot of feeling fine and then feeling yucky.

When I headed home at 5:00 I decided I was just going to eat and go to bed!! So, that's what I did. I ate frozen mac & cheese for the 5th day in a row. Oh I can see it now, my sister just feel out of her chair. All that saturated fat!! (But hey... there's no trans fat!!) At this point my thinking is, I'm going to eat what stays down. And for WHATEVER reason, that happens to be it. So, that's what I'm eating.

After that, I went to bed. I didn't go to sleep right away but I also wasn't feeling the greatest so when Jake got home I declined using the doppler and instead told him we would mess with it in the morning.

11w2d

Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, Woosh

170 beats per minute. For the rest of my life, that will probably be the only thing I remember about today. Today was the first time I got to hear the heart that is beating inside me, but does not belong to me. It was WONDERFUL!!

The day started out innocently enough. I got up and frantically ran around trying to clean up the house before Danette got here to clean. (Don't ask...) In fact I was so tired, and running so far behind that it didn't even dawn on me that the doppler was coming until I was at work. Then it hit me, and I got excited all over again.

By 11:00 my butt was dragging. I didn't know if I had over done it this morning or what but I was TIRED. I tried to eat lunch, but had another case of the yuckys so I just nibbled on food for the rest of the afternoon. Finally around 3:45 I could take it no more. I needed a nap. It didn't dawn on me until I was driving home that the doppler would be there too. Hmm.. maybe sleeping could wait.

I didn't know if the doppler came with batteries, but I didn't want to get all the way home get it out of the box and then not be able to use it. So I made a quick stop at Wal-mart to pick up some 9V batteries so I would be safe.

The whole way home I bounced between giddy excited and it's still really early, I may not be able to hear anything. I took the doppler out of the box and read the brief how to instructions. I then unbuttoned and began listening. One minute... nothing, five minutes... nothing. Add more gel, keep looking. I went low on my pelvis and then higher towards my belly button but the only thing I heard was my own heart beat.

Finally when I was about to give up I remembered that sometimes when it is really early they have to push in a little on your stomach to get close enough to hear anything. So, I started back up by my belly button, pushed the thing in a little harder and started slowly moving downward. About halfway to my pubic bone I struck gold (figuratively speaking of course).

There it was, that GLORIOUS sound!! Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, Woosh!! I picked up the cell phone, being careful not to move the doppler too much and dialed Jake. Once I let him hear it I had to call my mom and let her hear it. The final call I made was to a friend of mine who is also pregnant.

When I told her today that I had ordered one she asked me what I would have to look forward to at the doctors office. All I could say on the phone to her was it's worth it. It is SOO worth it to me. I don't care if I hear it every single day it will never get old!!

Finally I was done with my heartbeat calls and I just sat there and listened for a little while. Of course once I shut it off, I was not tired in the slightest. Too much adrenaline. So I just stayed up watching crappy summer TV programming until around 9:00. As I drifted off to sleep I swear I could still hear it in my head.

Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, Woosh

11w1d

Each day seems to be a little better than the last. Today I didn't really feel sick at all. I did have a craving for milk this morning though, which is very un-like me considering I am NOT a milk person. Unfortunately when I went down to Walgreens to get some donuts and milk I was faced with the horrible fact that Walgreens only sells Roberts milk.

Now for those of you not in the Midwest, I am SOO sorry if this is all you have to drink. You really are missing out. See here we have this WONDERFUL milk called AE. And people, I ONLY drink AE milk. It has to be 2% and ice cold to boot.

So, the baby dealt with water and donuts. Begrudgingly I'm sure...

After that I got on to check my e-mail and noticed that I had gotten an e-mail from Belly Beats. Yesterday I broke down and ordered a fetal Doppler (I'm renting, not buying) and when I filled out the order form I had put down free shipping, which I was under the impression would take about a week. For whatever reason, they upgraded me to two day shipping and the Doppler will be here tomorrow. I can't wait!!

Other than that, today was pretty uneventful in the baby world. It was the first day I didn't feel sick at all, which really doesn't make for much interesting material. :-)

11w0d

I think things are finally turning around, and by that I mean I didn't get sick this morning, not that I am dancing a jig or anything. I actually felt pretty crummy when I got up but as the morning progressed things started to improve.

I had a few moments around lunch time and early afternoon where I felt kind of yucky, but kind of yucky is a whole hell of a lot better than where I was this weekend, so I'll take it. By about 3:30 though, I started to fade. I wasn't getting more sick I just got tired. VERY, VERY TIRED!!

By 6:30 I crashed hard. I finally woke up about 8:30 and watched some animal planet show until 10:00 when I gave up and went back to sleep. So I go from sick, to tired. When do I get to just feel normal?

10w6d

Today was better, not great by any stretch of the imagination, but better. Actually, any day that I keep my head out of the toilet bowl is an improvement at this point.

I still laid in bed all day, but since I was not running downstairs as often I had more time to ponder the big important things like, oh crap what did I do? Are we really ready for this? Once this baby gets here I have to actually feed it, and take care of it. What am I going to feed it? I'm the pickiest person on the planet. Along with the all important... we have to name this baby. What in the WORLD are we going to name him/her??

After an hour or so of that I was just wiped so I decided I needed to watch some mindless television (i.e. Miss Congeniality II & Raise Your Voice). Having viewed all of the chick flicks that I could handle (who knew I could cry SO much at movies I have ALREADY SEEN??) I headed off to the store to get some frozen mac & cheese. This, it appears, is the only thing the baby seems to really like. And my really like I mean it is the ONLY food I have been able to take more than 4 or 5 bites of in a week!!

The problem I discovered, however, is that the grocery store is no longer a safe place for me. My nose has been invaded by super olfactory glands. Every perfume, cologne, and possibly even SOAP that was on anyone was overwhelming to me. I made my way through the store as quickly as possible and bolted for the door.

Back to my bat cave to hide out for the rest of the evening!!

Why the detail?

I just wanted to give you all a little background on why I feel it’s necessary to write down every boring pregnancy symptom I am cursed blessed with. Yesterday my mom called to see how I was feeling and we got to discussing when she was pregnant with me. Apparently she went skiing, horseback riding, lifted bags of feed, fed the cows & pigs etc. However right after she found out she was pregnant she started bleeding and she doesn’t remember it being any big deal.

Now maybe it wasn’t to her, but it could have been. I will never know, because all I have is what she remembers and she doesn’t remember it being any big deal. She also told me she thinks she was in the hospital for a week when she was pregnant with me for a cyst. Now while that is interesting, what I would really like to know is how did she feel. Was she worried, was she concerned. None of these things are written anywhere, and as we all know, your memory fades.

Twenty or Thirty years from now when my children start having children I want to be able to remember what I went through. How I felt, what I worried about, etc. So, I want to keep as detailed of a record of it as possible. Which is why, at times, this site will go into much more detail than you care to read. I figure I will leave all the boring TMI details here, and that way people can chose to read, or not to read.

10w5d

Jake called this morning at 5:00. He had been out fishing all night and was letting me know that he was on his way home. While it was nice of him to call, it forced me to get out of bed to answer the phone which caused me to begin to cough, which lead me to the same place I seem to be spending much of my mornings. After that unfortunate dry heaving episode it was time to go back to sleep.

I reawakened around 9:00 with a HORRIBLE sore throat. I don’t know if I have strep or not. I decided I should either call a walk-in clinic or go to the drug store and get something that I can take. I decided on the later, only to discover that what I can take consists of Tylenol for the pain and cough drops. The only other medicines that are on the list are for chest colds, etc. Since I have no congestion, I am somewhat leery of taking more medicine than I need.

So I headed home with some cinnamon rolls and a couple of kinds of throat lozenges. Luckily the cinnamon rolls seemed to be a hit with my stomach as I was able to eat two of them and feel just fine. So I took my vitamins and decided to settle in for a nap. I drifted off around 11:00 and when I awoke at 2:00 I was thinking of lunch. Grilled cheese sandwiches to be exact. Well actually, I was thinking of grilled tuna and cheese but since I’ve been told no tuna I decided to stick with the cheese only variety.

Thus begins Lunch Part 1:

I get out of bed, traipse downstairs to the kitchen and begin to cook. I slice the cheese, butter the bread and turn it on low so as not to scorch the outside of the sandwich without melting the cheese.

It takes me about 20 minutes to go through the whole rigmarole but when I am done, I have a beautifully grilled sandwich. I cut it in half so I can take little bites and go back upstairs to my little bedroom hideaway.

I finish the first half, no problem. On the second half I get cocky. It’s going so well I begin to take bigger bites. I am on my second to last bite when it hits me. I leap from bed and sprint down the stairs.

I emerge from the bathroom 10 minutes later….

Morning Sickness: 1, Heather: 0

Lunch Part 2:

Jake takes out a bowl of chicken noodle soup and puts it in the microwave. I sip my water until it is done and then SLOWLY sip the soup broth. It takes me about 20 minutes of daintily taking little bites of the noodles and sips of the broth to get about half of the bowl gone. I call it good and lay back down.

Sometime in the few hours I was upstairs I happened to look down at my stomach and noticed something I was hoping to avoid. The hairs below my belly button have turned a much darker shade than any of the light blond hairs on the rest of my belly. I think there is some phenomenon called the linea niegra which causes this to happen, but I was hopping to avoid it. Apparently, I’m destined to get as many weird pregnancy symptoms as possible.

About 6:00 I finally decided that I was tired of surfing the internet and I was hungry. Jake suggested pizza. When it arrived I discovered that I should have ordered cheese instead of hamburger. The hamburger does NOT seem to be my friend. I did manage to get a piece and 1/3 down but no more. I resigned myself to 3 small breadsticks and then decided that it was time for bed.

By this point it was around 7:45 so I surfed the net for a few more hours and then I drift off into dream land hoping for a much less “eventful” day tomorrow.

10w4d

Well, today was better than yesterday, but only by a slim margin. I started the day doing, what else, bowing to the porcelain. You know even though it sounds strange, I would rather get sick in the mornings than at any other time. There is nothing in my stomach so it is mostly just a little bit of dry heaving and then done.

The problem with getting sick, of course, it that it makes you feel miserable. You know normal people would just go back upstairs and crawl into bed. Call their place of employment and tell them they were ill and couldn't come in. BUT... not us pregnant people. Nope we have to wipe off our faces clean ourselves up and get ready for our day!! Since I obviously don't have anything anyone can "catch" I just don't feel right about missing more time from work than is necessary.

I am finding, however, that it takes me twice as long to get ready in the mornings. I do everything at a snails pace. I have never tired so easily when I wasn't really ill. Finally about 7:50 I was out the door to work. I did remember to bring snacks today, which I think was the only thing that kept today from being as bad as yesterday.

On the way into work my gas light came on. Great way to start the already late day huh? So, I decided while I was at Caseys I would get myself a donut for breakfast. I did alright eating it, although I had to eat it in VERY small bites. If I start to gag and there is still food in my mouth, the taste of it makes everything 10 times worse.

I got one cake donut down in the 15 minutes it took me to get to work and I decided to call it good. I put the other one in my bag of snacks and headed to work. I can always tell how my face looks when I get there by the way the receptionist reacts when I open the door. Today I must have looked like death warmed over, because the look on her face said more than any words could have. "You know maybe you should consider taking some mornings off..."

After I got to my desk I was good for about two hours. I then pulled out the other donut thinking maybe I could buy myself some more time. One tiny nibble off of that and it went straight into the trash. Okay, plan two... how about a granola bar. That, luckily stayed down just fine and I moved on to some applesauce at around 11:00 to help me make it through until my 11:30 lunch date.

At 11:30 I met my friend for lunch and of course nothing sounded good. She is two weeks farther along than me, but is not having nearly the sickness I am. (Lucky her!!) So, she decided I should pick where we go. I picked this Italian place that is usually my favorite. It is quite a walk over there so we chatted and walked. Of course once we walked in I got a whiff of something and immediately started scouring the skywalk for a bathroom.

I didn't see one, and I didn't want to make her walk somewhere else so I just breathed deep and eventually the feeling passed. While we were waiting in line I kept getting waves of nausea. I was trying not to act strange but I kept thinking the cashier man could not go any slower if he tried. COME ON!! I wanted to scream at him. You have a pregnant woman here who just needs to sit and sip water. Could you hurry it up a bit!!

Finally I got to our table and when the food came out the smell of it was a little much. I started with dry bread and then worked my way into the pasta. I think I got about 1/4 of my dish down and a couple of slices of dry bread before I decided enough was enough and we left.

Once back at work I found myself, once again, feeling ill. About 2:00 I could take no more and I headed home. On the way out one of the admin staff caught a glimpse of me and all she could say was man, you're white as a sheet. Gee thanks...

Once at home I headed straight for bed. I got settled in and dozed off around 3:00. Of course my friend Danette called at 3:30 because one of our other friends is out of town and she was supposed to let her dog out but couldn't and wanted to know if I could. Being half asleep I said sure and hung up the phone. Then around 4:00 Jake called to tell me he was on his way home. After the second phone call, I was awake so I decided to just get up.

I ventured downstairs and made myself some popcorn, which is what sounded good. I was able to eat almost the whole bag, so it must not have been that bad of a choice. Then around 5:30 I started feeling a little ill again. Since I had to go to Emma's dance recital I didn't want to be sick so I reheated some hamburger helper and forced a little of it down.

That appeared to hold off the nausea and I headed off to the recital. It started at 7:00 and by 7:45 I was coughing and just hoping I didn't get sick. When intermission came at 8:30 I had seen both of Emma's dances and took that as my cue to head home. By 9:00 I had the dogs fed and headed off into dream land, hoping to be able to do more sleeping than coughing.

10w3d

Today was, without a doubt, the worst day I have had so far. I started feeling sick around 10:00 and it just continued to get worse. By 11:00 I decided I should go get something to eat to help me feel a little better. Eat… hmm… what could I eat?

I stood in the skywalk for awhile just feeling dumb. Every place I normally eat just made me want to gag. Finally I decided that I wanted a hot dog and some chips. Why? We will never know. So I headed over to the Maid-Rite. That is the only place downtown where you can get a hot dog and not come out smelling like an ashtray (i.e. Coney Island).

Once I got to the front of the line to order I realized that I was also REALLY craving a fountain pop. I figured one was NOT going to kill me so I just ordered the meal figuring the fries would be a fine substitute for the chips. When oh when am I going to learn that I am NOT in charge here!!

They handed me the hot dog and fries and immediately the smell got to me. I carried it back to the office and set the fries on one corner of my desk. When a co-worker walked by I asked him if he wanted them. Of course his reaction was what is wrong with them. Nothing that I know of, I just can’t stand the smell of them right now.

So, he took them away and I opened up the box that contained my hot dog. This was no Ball Park Frank though. This was one of those thick skinned jumbo franks. Already I could tell it was not what I wanted, but I figured I needed to at least eat SOME of what I bought. I went to the kitchen and got a plastic knife and proceeded to cut off small piece of the hot dog. Okay… not great… but not too bad.

I made it through about three bites when I decided maybe I should go down to Wal-greens to get those chips. I closed the box and went downstairs. Once I got back up, there was no part of the hot dog that even smelled appetizing. I opened the box back up and shoved in another bite or two. Then I began to gag and decided the hot dog was just not meant to be.

BUT… I had my chips. As it turns out, chips that I could not eat. It just gets better and better. I think this is by far the thing I am having the most trouble with. I have always just been able to eat things. Even if it didn’t sound all that great I could just eat it. Not anymore. And let me tell you, letting go of that control factor has been a BIG issue for me!! I’m so used to being in control of my body that these last few weeks have just been hell.

After striking out with the hot dog and the chips I resigned myself to saltines. Around 3:30 I started feeling REALLY sick and decided that enough was enough for the day. I felt so awful that I literally shuffled to my car. I’m not sure how long it took me to get there, I just kept telling myself as long as I am moving forward I have to get there eventually.

Once I got home I headed straight for the bathroom. I have never worked so hard at trying not to puke. Finally I decided I was just going to go to bed. If I was sleeping I wouldn’t feel so awful right? WRONG!! When I laid down this wonderful sore throat that Jake gave me would start to tickle. When it tickled I coughed. When I coughed I gagged and had to run down to the bathroom.

By the time Jake got home at about 6:00 I was throwing things off the couch figuring it was closer to the bathroom. He asked if he could make me anything and so when he started cooking I decided to take a bucket and go back upstairs. I was unsure what the smell would do to me and I didn’t need to feel worse.

I had just dozed off when he came up and told me the food was ready. I debated on telling him to eat without me, but figured I at least needed to give it a try as I knew it couldn’t make me feel worse. I ate about half a bowl of hamburger helper and surprisingly started to feel MUCH better.

So I got out my computer and tried to at least balance the checkbook. I did pretty well at getting things organized, although I think I probably would have been better off just going to sleep to try to get rested.

10w2d

Complete 180. That is the best way to describe how things have been going for me. This weekend I thought that things were going along just fine. Everything would be great, I would be able to start eating food again, etc. etc. Then Monday happened, and I thought, just a minor setback….

I wish.

Today, I began my day with my head over the toilet bowl. Jake has decided to share his sore throat with me, we must discuss what is acceptable to share (i.e. chocolate & ice cream) and what is not!! So, when I got up this morning I had drainage, I began to cough… you can guess where this is going.

Okay, I thought. Just a little dry heaving, I’ll be fine. I finished getting ready, ate part of a poptart, and headed off to our doctor’s appointment. When we got there it was about 8:20. I figured that since it was this early they couldn’t possibly be that far behind. Apparently their concept of early and mine are two very different things. Finally about 8:45 they got me into a room.

Okay, little diversion here… before putting me into a room they made me do a clean catch in the bathroom? Do you all know what that is? Here is my problem with this. When you give a regular urine sample you just pee into a plastic Dixie cup. Easy enough. However with a clean catch you have to pee into this “special cup” and you have to catch urine mid stream. The opening of this “special cup” is about half the size of the regular cup. So first they want me to begin to pee and then either stop, or stick the cup in while I’m going and NOT get urine all over my hand?? It was accomplished, but I think someone needs to have a serious talk with them about the size of that cup!!

Alright, moving back to our story. So I get into the room and get my first bit of good news. Since I had a pap at the end of January another one is not needed today. Hallelujah thank the lord!! So she takes the blood pressure, etc and then says the doctor will be right in and then we will go to the ultrasound room. Where the doctor was, I’m not sure… but he left me sitting in there for 15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES people!! I’m pregnant, I’m FREAKING out hoping that everything is okay with the baby and you leave me alone in a room with sharp objects for 15 minutes. Just get on with it already!!

FINALLY he comes in, speaks with me for a couple of minutes and we are off to the ultrasound room. The nice nurse lady had already lead Jake back to the room, (I left him in the waiting room in case they did a pap…. He just doesn’t need to see that!!) So the doctor tells me to get undressed from the waist down (luckily I warned Jake about this) and then he will be right in.

Once again, he must be the wandering doctor because he didn’t come back for at least 5 minutes. How long does he think it takes for me to take off my pants? I’m 26 years old for god sakes. I’ve mastered that talent!! J Anyhow, he finally comes back and I assume the “position.” In goes the camera and the first words out of his mouth were yup there’s a baby. Followed by, oh you can see that can you… here let me adjust the monitor.

Once we could see he did a couple of measurements, printed a couple of pictures and we saw the heart beat for 2.5 seconds and then it was over. Less than 5 minutes. I could have stared at that screen all day and he finished the ultrasound in less than five minutes. Never in my life have I wanted to grab someone more and say put it back in… just a few more minutes!!

None the less, he left the room again and I got dressed and then we went into an office to have a talk. I was told that everything looked great and the baby was measuring right on target. Then we got into the food discussion. No lunch meat. WHAT?? Where did this come from? I can’t stomach lunch meat now anyway… but I had NEVER heard of this one. He told me there was some bacteria that can grow in lunch meat and so if I want to eat it I have to heat it up first. So that either means eating hot meat sandwiches or microwaving the meat and then putting it in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Somehow, I just don’t think I’m going to need to eat lunch meat enough to have to go to all of that trouble. His other recommendation was no tuna. This one was also kind of a surprise to me. I had always heard that you could have one can a week, but he seemed to indicated that I could have no cans a week. SO… I can have hot ham & cheese, but no tuna & cheese melts. Man this is going to be a bummer of a pregnancy.

After the appointment I had to go down to the lab where they proceeded to suck my veins dry. Okay, maybe not so much but it was 4 tubes of blood!! Then it was back to work, and back to telling the boss about “my condition.” Surprisingly, considering when I’m due, all of my bosses have taken it really well. All of the ones with children have had nothing but congratulations for me. The one without… well he’s just a worrier anyway.

After that, I could breathe a little easier knowing my secret was out. I tried to concentrate on work, but that is just not working now a days. I finally decided to just go home and try again tomorrow. Once home I became incredibly incensed at a pizza pan that was not cleaning as easily as I wanted it to. Stomped around for awhile and finally decided to just eat a frozen mac & cheese. (No I am NOT hormonal and if you bring it up again I may have to whack you with the pizza pan!!)

By 7:00 I was just dragging. I should have just given up then and gone to bed, but that horrid show, “So You Think You’ve Got Talent” was going to be on at 8:00 and for some reason, which I know now was misguided, I thought it would be funny. It was about 9:30 when I finally fell asleep and 9:45 when I awoke, said oh no and headed for the bathroom.

Just as I had begun my day with my head over the toilet, I ended my day with my head in the same position. Slowly, ever so slowly, I am learning that I am not in control here. If I ignore what my body is telling me (i.e. sleep now) I will pay for it. I have NO doubt that if I would have gone to bed at 7:00 or even 8:00 I would not have been sick. Next time… maybe I’ll listen!!

10w0d

Today was apparently the beginning of the gag reflex phase. If I let myself get to hungry, I gagged. If I thought about something that didn’t sit right with me, I gagged. If I smelled something perfumey, or otherwise stronger than I would prefer I gagged. Sounds like lots of fun huh? Don’t you wish you were me?

And… since every moment of every day is now like a giant smell-a-thon, it was a lot of day spent doing nothing very productive!! Here’s an example, I got in the elevator with a man who apparently had a mint in his mouth. No, I did not make him open up to inspect it, I could smell it the minute I walked on to the elevator. And not in an, oh that man has a mint kind of way, it was more in a get me off of this elevator before I puke kind of way.

Which is a perfect segway into my next issue. Once again, on a Monday night I have visited the toilet bowl gods. Maybe this baby is a prankster. He/She likes to give me a week to feel like things are going well. All weekend I kept telling people, I think the worst is over. I haven’t really felt sick in a few days, and then WHAM!!

I’m not sure what set it off tonight. I don’t remember smelling anything too strong. It was just all of the sudden, oh no… that doesn’t feel right. Usually I’m pretty good at calming my gag reflex, but I have lost all control lately.

After that, I pretty much went to bed. Every time I got up to pee or to try to eat something Jake would ask if I was okay. “Do I look okay?” “Well, no…” “Then there is your answer!!” I feel as if I have been hit by a truck!!

9w6d

Today I got an aversion for another smell. This is also a food I don’t like, but the smell has never really overwhelmed me before. Today it was onions. We were at my grandpa’s house for father’s day dinner and they had a veggie tray. On this tray were little onion stalks (is that what they’re called?). I had been up near this tray and didn’t even notice the smell, then all of the sudden Jake bit into one and all I could smell was onion!!

Later, after dinner we were getting ready to go and when he got in the car I looked at him and all I could smell was onion. It turns out he had eaten one before we left but the smell of it on his breath was still enough to over power me.

We may have to work on his food choices from now on!!

9w3d

Today smells started to make their appearance. Smells which I have smelled for years but have never been so strong. One smell in particular was really bothering me today. Pickles. Now I don’t like pickles, but the smell of them has never been as strong as it was today. Everyone kept telling me that I would get this sensory overload, but so far this has been the only smell. Maybe I’ll get lucky?

9w0d

Today marked the first, and I hope the LAST time I've gotten sick during this pregnancy. I'm not sure if it was all due to the pregnancy hormones, or if there were some other factors at play.

Today was our golf outing, so I was out in the sun all day. I bought that new spray on sun screen but apparently I need to work on my aim because I missed the backs of both of my arms.

The combination of the heat and the sunburn (My body doesn't handle sunburns well) already had me chilled and not feeling so hot. In hindsight when Jake asked if I wanted to go to dinner with his dad, I should have just declined.

I ate a little at the course around 5:00 but by 7:00 I was pretty hungry again. I kept eating granola bars and little things thinking we were going to go out to eat. Finally around 8:15 his dad called to say he was ready. We headed over to his house to pick him up and I popped a Worther's candy into my mouth to try to tide over my stomach.

By the time we arrived at the restaurant at 8:45 my stomach was doing flips. I told Jake I was going to the restroom and to order me a water and some saltines. When I headed off, I didn't think I was going to get sick, I just thought I needed to pee for the 10th time today.

However once I opened the bathroom door I was overwhelmed with a horrible smell. No, it wasn't what you think. They had just cleaned the bathroom and it was some sort of perfumy cleaner smell. Whatever it was it was STRONG and I started to gag, and that was it.

Next time, I’m waiting at the table for the crackers!!

8w3d

Oh how I miss food!! For anyone who knows me well they will tell you that food and I, we are VERY good friends. My main concern anytime I went anywhere was what were we going to eat.

I used to tell people it was because I was anorexic in highschool so I was just making up for all the food I missed out on. Mostly it was just because I liked to eat, nothing that was good for me of course, but I still liked to eat.

Today, food and I have hit a new low. NOTHING sounds good. I'm not eating because I like the taste of anything or because I'm particularly hungry. I'm eating because I know if I don't I will get worse.

I went to lunch today and I could barely choke down my meal. I had to eat in small bites and "rest" inbetween for fear of gagging. Now I'm back at my desk (2:00) and I feel sick. REALLY sick!!

I'm trying to snack on original pringles, I know not the best choice... but they're not really greasy and have a bland taste. However, they are not helping. My stomach just keeps doing flip flops. End over end... I can feel it.

Right now, I think throwing up would be a relief. Too bad I'm not brave enough to stick my finger down my throat. Besides, in the back of my mind, I know that will just make it worse, but oh how I want this feeling to go away!!

8w2d

The word of the day is gagging. I must have gagged no less than 5 times between getting up and making it to work today. Which brings me to an interesting observation. Should this gagging move to something more exactly what do I do?

There are two people at my work who know that I’m pregnant. One I told, the other figured it out on her own. Two out of 35 is not a large percentage. Now since I do not want the rest of them to know until at least after our first ultrasound in two weeks what do I do if I get sick?

I work in the back of the office. The bathrooms are down the hallway, around a corner, out a door and down another hallway. I’m not sure I’m going to have that kind of time. Right now I’m just praying it doesn’t come to that. Usually I can avoid the gagging by continually keeping my stomach at least full of something. Although lately, too much of something can also bring on the same effect.

I’m just going to keep crossing my fingers that it doesn’t get to that point. Only four more weeks until the nausea is “supposed” to subside!!

8w1d

Chicken and I have decided that we are no longer friends. Now don't get me wrong, I can eat chicken strips (much to my sister's dismay) and I can eat baked chicken but grilled chicken. All I can envision in my head is a raw chicken breast.

So, at the last two cook outs where people were having steaks, fish, etc. I was eating hot dogs. I just couldn't bring myself to buy that slimy chicken and cook it. *shutter*

The only other thing I've discovered I can't stomach well, cold cuts. Which is such a shame because I love bologna and subway. When I think about ham, I don't get the same feeling in my stomach. I think it's because ham is drier. Maybe it's a slime factor!!

Other than that I still have the usual, sore boobs, peeing frequently, and desperate need to have at least 10-12 hours of sleep per day. The new thing this week has been the gagging and the feeling sick at the sight of things.

7w5d

Dear Baby:

Apparently either your new family is really excited about you, or they just like to talk. Either is really possible as they are related to your mom.

Last week your daddy went into a gas station and the mother of a kid I graduated with says to him, I hear congratulations are in order. What?

You see, apparently in that town word travels REALLY fast. We told your two grandmas & grandpas and your three aunts. Between them, they have apparently told the rest of the free world. I fully expect to have the cashier at the grocery store congratulating me by next week.

So little one, what does this mean for you? If you don't want the entire world knowing about what you did, I suggest you keep it to yourself!! ;-)

Love,
Mommy