15w0d

Today was the first day that I really noticed that my pregnancy hormones are in full swing. I got up and got dressed picking out what I thought was my cutest new maternity top. I was SOO excited when I left home thinking that I finally looked fashionable and not just frumpy.

However, as I walked into work I started to notice that perhaps my top was a little low cut. On a side note why do they make these things assuming that people have boobs? I mean mine have grown, but come on. What do they expect a miracle?? Anyhow, the more I walked, the more I became self conscious. As long as I didn't bend over, I was fine, but still.

Then when I got to work I went into a meeting first thing. The meeting was over at 9:30 and by the time 12:00 rolled around I was feeling pretty crappy. This was the first day that I had worn a maternity top and not ONE person had noticed, or if they had they hadn't said anything to me. Now I realize I work with a bunch of men, but there are at least 5 women in the office that I see and talk to regularly and NO ONE said ANYTHING!!

By the time I left the office at 5:00 I just wanted to drown my sorrows in cheesesticks!! Unfortunately since money has not been all that great while Jake makes the transition to this new job I didn't think that was a very logical idea so I just headed home. Once there I rifled through our cupboards and discovered that we had nothing!! I finally decided on a can of soup and began to cook it. (Yes, I use that term loosely... the only things I cook are things that I can't screw up!!)

As the soup was heating (probably a more accurate term) I went to sit down in the livingroom. It was then that the pregnancy neuroses hit me. We have animals, have for the four years we've lived there, and animals create fur. As a non-pregnant person this would only bother me about every month or so. So, since Danette comes every two weeks, SCORE for me... no vacuuming. (Yes, I'm lazy!!)

Tonight though the fur just began to eat at me. Everywhere I looked it was all I could see. I just couldn't take it any more. I went upstairs and got the vacuum (that I haven't used in ohh... 6 months) and swept up all the fur from the living room and the kitchen. Once it was finally clean I felt as if I could relax again.

I then sat down to eat my soup. At about 9:00 I realized that the baby apparently is not a big fan of soup. Or at least s/he does not think that it is a full meal. Since we literally have NO food in our house I pulled out the trusty cheese and peanutbutter crackers and had a couple of those to settle my stomach and then off to bed I went.

14w6d

Today was another one of those lazy Sundays. I slept in until about 11:00 which was SOO nice!! When I woke up I was hungry and decided cheetos were in order. Then around 12:15 I was hungry again and needed... wait for it...

Godfather's cheesesticks!! (Damn you Katie!!)

After lunch I laid on the couch and before I knew it Jake was waking me up and I had been asleep for over an hour. I then finished washing our bedding and just laid around. For some reason I just couldn't seem to get any energy today. Every time I would walk up the stairs I would get winded and just want to lay down.

We ate dinner at around 7:30 and then watched some TV for a couple of hours. At 9:30 I decided that I should just give up and go to bed. First, however, I thought I should take my vitamins. For those of you smarter than I, what is wrong with what I just did? Yes, that's right. I took my vitamins two hours AFTER I ate.

So, 30 minutes later I found myself sprinting down the stairs, bucket in hand. All I have to say is it's a DAMN good thing that bucket was upstairs. Add that to my list of "I will nevers" that I just blew to hell.

14w5d

Well, we didn't end up going shopping today, at least not in the conventional sense. I called Jess about 11:30 and told her I was going to lunch and asked if she wanted to go with me. By the time she was ready to go it was a little after 12:00. Now to a normal person, this is not a large amount of time to wait. However, according to this little munchkin she might as well have asked me to wait for 3 hours.

By the time we got to the restaurant I was starting to feel ill. Luckily, it didn't take long for the food to get to us. Unluckily I still have not gotten my appetite back and so I could only eat about half of my meal. Do you have any idea how happy I will be when I can once again sit down and eat large amounts of food in one sitting? This half a meal crap is for the birds!!

After lunch we went over to my Father-in-laws to go over the invitations and then we decided to run out to a second hand store. While the store had lots of things, I already have most of what we need, besides clothes so I didn't really have much to look at. It was also REALLY hot in the store so I spent much of our time there in front of one of the two fans.

The one thing that I did find that I am somewhat excited about is a Snuggli. I think that it is one of the ones that you can wear on your front or on your back and since my mother requested one that she could do that with I purchased it. Unfortunately it did not have the instructions with it, so I need to get on the website and look it up but for $14 I couldn't pass it up.

Oh, I almost forgot. Today was the first day I got to try out my new maternity clothes. I bought these underwear at Motherhood that are just wonderfully comfortable. Unfortunately they have the tag from hell. Whomever designed this should be drug out into the street and shot. This tag is at least an inch and a half long. Who in their right mind is going to be comfortable wearing underwear with an inch and a half tag running down your crack? I promptly cut it off.

After we got back from shopping Jake and I headed out to visit an old friend of mine from high school. She is back from Baghdad for three weeks and then is back there again until November so I wanted to stop by and see her. Since I was wearing the maternity clothes, it was one of the first times I didn't feel really self conscious. People could tell I was pregnant and not just eating too many twinkies.

We stayed there for a couple of hours and by that point I was wiped out. I didn't get my weekend nap in and so I was ready for bed. We got home at 9:00 and I think I was asleep by 10:00. Great Saturday night partier huh?

14w4d

This morning as I was getting dressed I noticed that my button up shirt is getting a little snug in the waist area. I think I have about a quarter of an inch before it becomes unable to be buttoned. So, I decided that I should call Katie this weekend and see if she was up for going shopping with me.

As luck would have it, her boss gave her the day off and she called me about 10:00 to see if I wanted to meet this afternoon to go shopping. I knew that our budget did not allow for large amounts of clothing, but also that I would need some eventually. I decided I would try to shop the sale racks and get as much for my money as possible.

I finished up the things I KNEW I needed to get done today and then headed out to meet her at noon. Our first stop, of course, was lunch. We were going to eat at the mall food court but I decided on the way out there that I would MUCH rather have Olive Garden. So, that is where we went. I only ate salad and breadsticks, but I ate LOTS of salad and breadsticks.

Then we headed back to the mall. I will be the first to admit that I got a little carried away. It was SOO nice to find clothes that fit me well and in all the right places. I also fit into mediums which totally boosted my self esteem!! When the 2 hour shopping excursion was done I did end up going a little over budget, but I figure if I need to, I will pull that money out of savings. Isn't it worth it to have clothes that fit you well and make you feel wonderful??

After I got done shopping I headed back to work and actually worked until 7:00 because Jake was working late, yet again!! (I will be SOOO glad when he starts the new job on Monday!!) Once I got home I got the mail and discovered that after his last accident the insurance agency had pulled his driving record and discovered what I knew all along. It was AWFUL!!

So, needless to say, I now have 10 days to find new car insurance. This turned a good afternoon into a pretty crappy night so I decided some comfort food was in order. I headed over to Wendy's and then called Jess on the way home because she wants to go shopping tomorrow. Yeah... like I need to spend MORE money!!

14w3d

This morning I had my 14 week checkup. They said all of my blood tests from last time came back fine. What that means I have no idea because I am a BAD pregnant person and I did not bring a notebook to take notes and make them tell me about every test they did because let's face it... if they say it's fine that's about all of the medical lingo I'm going to understand anyway.

I have another appointment in two weeks for an AFP test which tests for Spina Bifida and Down Syndrome and then my regular appointment in four weeks. For those of you who are going to question my decision to have this test, please know that we did not come to this decision without a little thought. No, the results of the test will not change our outcome but it will help me, super planner that I am, to get the best prenatal care I can and also to be better prepared for what challenges may lie ahead. I want my baby's birthday to be a super joyous day and I think it will put a worry cloud over it if we are not prepared. Nuff said?

The heartbeat was around 148 which just further supports my theory that I'm having a boy!! (I know, it's too early to tell. A girl I work with said her daughter's heartbeat was around 150 so I'm just guessing here.) The final thing the doctor told me was since I have been so sick I have been given permission to eat whatever stays down. He said the baby will get what it needs from me so I should just eat what I can. (I know... within limits.)

Today also marks the day of another "fun" shopping experience that I would just as soon forget!! I spent most of my day teetering between being sick and feeling fine. Although towards the end of the day I started feeling worse. I have a feeling it could have something to do with the fact that I knew I was meeting my sister to look at bridesmaid dresses. What is it with these people trying to fit my ever growing belly into "normal" dresses?

I met them around 5:00 and one of the first comments out of my mothers mouth was, "Hi pudgy, how ya doing?" Yes, I'm showing. No mom... joking or not, you are not helping my body image issues here!! Next on the torture adjenda, actually TRY ON some dresses. Almost everything they had in the store was a 10. Now as anyone who has shopped for wedding or bridesmaid dresses knows, most of the time these things run small.

Since in NORMAL times, I usually wear between an 8 and a 10 who wants to take bets on how many of these dresses actually fit around my mid-section. Anyone? Anyone? Yes... that's right... NONE!! The poor girls in the shop tried to squeeze me into one. It took two of them to get the zipper zipped. Yup... feeling great here... thanks!!

After that, I just held them in the back so that Lindsay could get the effect. After she picked one that she liked (no worries my niece was there so she got to see it on someone that it actually FIT) I got dressed again and the lady measured me. Apparently my top puts me between an 8 and a 10, my hips put me in a 10 but my middle puts me at a 16. Gee... ya think??

I went ahead and ordered the 14 knowing that they could take it in but that would help me not to feel like I HAD to starve myself in the seven months after the baby is born. Of course my mother was appalled that I would order that large of a size. There is no way that you will need larger than at 12, she says to me. Mom, I'm crossing my fingers for that, but I'd rather it be way to big than way to small!!

After that depressing experience we headed to town to an all you can eat buffet. Because what does every pregnant person need after they have just had a second VERY depressing shopping trip in under a week? Yes that's right, all you can eat pot roast (which I'd been craving), chicken, ham, and of course ICE CREAM!!

I arrived home right at 8:00. Perfect timing to see the results show for America's Got Talent and then drift into an buffet induced coma.

14w2d

Today started much the same way that yesterday ended. I broke another one of my "I will nevers" and only made it to the kitchen sink from the kitchen table. (This baby is just causing me to break all kinds of those.) After that I sat down and finished the other half of my granola bar without too much incident.

By the time I met my friend for lunch I was feeling pretty good and managed to keep down a large slice of pizza. Of course if I were to throw up pizza that would be a travesty against man kind. I think the baby is at least learning that early!! However, that said, I still wasn't feeling 100% so when I saw a chance to leave at 4:00 I took it.

I stopped by Daycare #1 to pay my $25 registration fee and hold our spot for March and then I went home and laid on the couch for awhile. About 5:30 I called Jake and asked him what he wanted for dinner. After the great cooking fiasco of last night I had no intention of actually making anything, but I was willing to pick something up or buy a frozen pizza at the store. He told me that he wanted left over turkey. Knowing how well that sat in my stomach last night, I opted for... you guessed it... more cheese sticks. (It's an obsession I tell you!!)

After dinner (and I use that term loosely, I assure you) I hunkered down for a full to hours of America's Got Talent. I was more than disappointed that the evil Victoria Secret man made it to the semi-finals, but with as bad of a rating as he got from the judges I didn't get my panties too much in a bunch, knowing that I would probably not be seeing him again.

Since Jake was home at a decent hour he was asleep by 9:00 and I followed within a few minutes.

14w1d

Today I woke up with Turkey and mashed potatoes on the brain. I told Jake he HAD to be home tonight because I was cooking. He assured me that he would be. I left work 15 minutes early just to make sure that I would have plenty of time to cook my wonderful meal and it wouldn't be 9:00 when we were eating.

I called Jake as soon as I got home and he told me he was working late again but that he would be done and home by 7:30 which was when I planned on dinner being ready. (Turkey roll takes about two hours to cook.) So I waited until about 5:30 just to make sure it wasn't done early and then popped it in the oven.

About 7:15 I began peeling the potatoes, and because I'm slow it was close to 8:00 before everything was ready. The only thing that was missing, Jake. I called him and learned that he was still on the southside and would not be home for at least an hour. I was crushed. Maybe it was the hormones, or maybe it was the fact that I NEVER cook but suddenly I just wasn't hungry anymore.

For the sake of the baby I decided I should at least eat something. I cut a piece of Turkey and put some mashed potatoes on my plate. The turkey, which I normally LOVE just didn't hit the spot tonight. Something about it made me gaggy (and no... I didn't screw something up... you CAN NOT screw this up). So I decided to go for the mashed potatoes. Ummm... yeah...

Those, well let's just say I need some cooking lessons. I know, I know, as probably half a dozen people have said to me, you can't screw up mashed potatoes. Trust me, it can be done and I did it. This poor baby, s/he has no hope of every eating anything that doesn't come out of the frozen food section!!

By the time Jake got home at 9:30 to eat I admitted defeat and just went upstairs. At 10:30 I got that all to familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach and barely made it to the bathroom in time. Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought the food tasted funny, the baby didn't like it either.

14w0d

Today found me full of energy. I woke up with this great desire to make something healthy for dinner. After yesterday I decided that I needed to eat better, and what better way to do that then to cook something wonderful. My idea, turkey roll & mashed potatoes. (Yes, I realize it's 100 degrees outside... it sounded good okay!!)

All day I kept thinking about getting home to cook. How long would it take me, what did I need to pick up at the store, etc. Unfortunately when I called Jake once I was home to tell him when dinner would be ready he informed me that he had to work late. Well crap. So, I threw the turkey roll into the freezer and called Godfather's. (I told you, I think it's becoming an addiction!!)

I then spent the rest of the evening cleaning like a mad woman. Since I had all of the energy and I wasn't cooking I figured I should clean something. So I picked up the livingroom, and then emptied and re-loaded the dishwasher and wiped off the counters. I also did about three loads of laundry. Once I was done I was tired, but felt oddly satisfied.

13w6d

Today was a bad day for me. Not because I was sick most of the day, but because I spent the day feeling "fat" and "frumpy." Yesterdays shopping adventure did not, in the slightest, help my self esteem. I spent most of the day in bed paying bills and watching old movies.

At lunch time I decided to go to Godfather's and get more cheese sticks. I figured they tasted so good yesterday that they would HAVE to cheer me up today. They worked, but only for a little while. For the rest of the day I subsisted on granola bars and chips. This I paid for later.

By 10:30 my stomach was NOT happy. It was crying out for real food and I was crying out for sleep!! I ate another granola bar and vowed that for the rest of this pregnancy, no matter how fat I feel, I will have to eat "real" food.

13w5d

Today will forever be remembered as the day that I realized that just because I am pregnant, my body image issues have not flown as far out the window as I would have hoped. The day actually started out fine. Much earlier than I would have liked, but fine none the less.

My Father-In-Law had asked me to help him with the invitations for their wedding so my friend Jess and I met him at his house and we all went to The Copy Shop in Ankeny to decide on a design. Suprisingly enough, even though there were four of us, the process went pretty smoothly. While we were there, Keith mentioned to me that he would like me to stand up in the wedding with Karen, his fiance.

This was new to me, because I thought that I would be the kid wrangler during the wedding, which I was perfectly content with. However, he had decided that he wanted me to stand up with their 5 other bridesmaids (another story for another day) and he would also like to know if I was free this afternoon to go look at dresses with them.

Um... yeah....

So, I met my friend Katie for lunch at noon, where she proceeded to get me hooked on Godfather's cheese sticks. Mmm... those are soo good, I can tell already that those may become a staple food. Then after lunch I went back to Keith's house to meet with Karen and three of her four girls to begin the dress shopping.

Now when we started, I was told that this would be a quick trip and that we were just going to pick a color and "style" of dress and then everyone was on their own. That would have been a WONDERFUL idea. Then I could have gotten a cute little maternity dress. Unfortunately, that is not how the day turned out.

We ended up shopping for about 6 hours (yes, I was exhausted) and in that time I watched these girls (sizes 0 - 6) try on all of these cute dresses that I used to fit into and now.... have no hope of fitting into. We finally got to a store called D.E.B. where they picked this dress. Now this is a cute dress, and it will look good on my sister-in-law, who is not a size 0 and also on these girls who are toothpicks. In fact I'm pretty sure it will look good on anyone who is not, oh shall we say PREGNANT!!

See the problem with this dress is that it is fitted down to about an inch above the belly button. I am already starting to show, and it is not all staying below my belly button. After watching these girls try on smalls and mediums I was a little intimidated and not feeling really all that great about my growing waist line.

I put on a Large and it fit, but that's all. It fit today. In two months.... who knows. So, I ended up buying a 1X and praying that it will still fit me. I think I will try it on in a couple of weeks and see how much room I still have. Luckily Keith's fiance used to alter wedding dresses, so she can take in the boob area which I'm sad to say I DO NOT fill out and probably have no hope of doing before September.

13w5d

Today will forever be remembered as the day that I realized that just because I am pregnant, my body image issues have not flown as far out the window as I would have hoped. The day actually started out fine. Much earlier than I would have liked, but fine none the less.

My Father-In-Law had asked me to help him with the invitations for their wedding so my friend Jess and I met him at his house and we all went to The Copy Shop in Ankeny to decide on a design. Suprisingly enough, even though there were four of us, the process went pretty smoothly. While we were there, Keith mentioned to me that he would like me to stand up in the wedding with Karen, his fiance.

This was new to me, because I thought that I would be the kid wrangler during the wedding, which I was perfectly content with. However, he had decided that he wanted me to stand up with their 5 other bridesmaids (another story for another day) and he would also like to know if I was free this afternoon to go look at dresses with them.

Um... yeah....

So, I met my friend Katie for lunch at noon, where she proceeded to get me hooked on Godfather's cheese sticks. Mmm... those are soo good, I can tell already that those may become a staple food. Then after lunch I went back to Keith's house to meet with Karen and three of her four girls to begin the dress shopping.

Now when we started, I was told that this would be a quick trip and that we were just going to pick a color and "style" of dress and then everyone was on their own. That would have been a WONDERFUL idea. Then I could have gotten a cute little maternity dress. Unfortunately, that is not how the day turned out.

We ended up shopping for about 6 hours (yes, I was exhausted) and in that time I watched these girls (sizes 0 - 6) try on all of these cute dresses that I used to fit into and now.... have no hope of fitting into. We finally got to a store called D.E.B. where they picked this dress. Now this is a cute dress, and it will look good on my sister-in-law, who is not a size 0 and also on these girls who are toothpicks. In fact I'm pretty sure it will look good on anyone who is not, oh shall we say PREGNANT!!

See the problem with this dress is that it is fitted down to about an inch above the belly button. I am already starting to show, and it is not all staying below my belly button. After watching these girls try on smalls and mediums I was a little intimidated and not feeling really all that great about my growing waist line.

I put on a Large and it fit, but that's all. It fit today. In two months.... who knows. So, I ended up buying a 1X and praying that it will still fit me. I think I will try it on in a couple of weeks and see how much room I still have. Luckily Keith's fiance used to alter wedding dresses, so she can take in the boob area which I'm sad to say I DO NOT fill out and probably have no hope of doing before September.

13w4d

Today was slightly better on the stomach cramping front. I went to Walgreens first thing and bought some Gas-X which helped marginally. Although it gave me a funny after taste. Apparently when that stuff dissolves in your stomach and then you burp it tastes like cinnamon. VERY STRANGE!!

I actually spent most of my day in a limbo between I feel fine and someone just shoot me now. After work we went to our friends Matt & Danette's house to play cards and eat pizza. The pizza went over REALLY well which helped me to not feel so crummy for the cards.

We didn't stay late, however, because Jake had to go help his friend load some things into his truck for their great "food plot expedition" tomorrow. He was home by about 10:15 and I was in dream land by 10:30.

13w3d

This morning started out with a good old-fashioned wave of nausea. It's a good thing too, because I was beginning to miss the inside of the toilet bowl. (Please read the sarcasm in that sentence...) After the nausea came the stomach cramping making for a downright wonderful day.

I had to leave work early to go to the daycare appointments, which I SERIOUSLY considered rescheduling, so I just toughed out my morning. I did not throw up again, but I made plenty of trips to the bathroom for other reasons. I felt so ill that I did not eat lunch, just munched on some crackers and prayed for 12:30 to come so I could leave.

I headed for the first daycare, running late as is the norm for me these days, so I didn't get to stop to pick anything up on the way. I wrote about both daycare visits here so I won't re-iterate here. I'll just stick to how I was feeling. During the first visit I did pretty well. The stomach cramping stayed to a minimum and the nausea wasn't too awful.

Once I left there I headed home to try to eat something before the second visit. I pulled out the old standby, my mac & cheese, and was able to eat about half of it before I didn't feel well, and also needed to be going. At the second appointment my stomach did not behave it's self quite as well. I wasn't really all that nauseous but the cramping was back, with a vengeance.

There were moments towards the end where I considered asking the woman where the restroom was, but decided against it. By the time I finally left I knew I was in trouble. I was only two miles from home but was starting to have doubts as to whether I would make it without having an accident.

It will do your hearts good to know, I made it. Although it was a painful ride with me screaming at all the cars in front of me... go faster... must go faster!! For the rest of the afternoon I just laid on the couch and watched Dr. Phil and Oprah. When Jake called and told me he would probably be working late I took that as my cue to head to bed, where I stayed for the rest of my evening!!

13w2d

The daycare center that I called yesterday phoned back first thing this morning. I made an appointment to meet with the director at 1:00 tomorrow. When I enquired about the wait I was told that it is anywhere from one year to 18 months. So, I decided that I should probably call around and check out some other places too.

I e-mailed my Sister-in-law because she used to work in a daycare center in my town and I asked her how she felt about the center. She called me back around noon and told me she really liked it and if she lived here she would take her son there. So, with her glowing recommendation I called them also and made an appointment for 2:00 tomorrow. Of course their wait is also about a year, so it is looking like I may need to find a place to take the munchkin for about 3 or 4 months. Do you think they would notice if I just slid the car seat under my desk?

As far as symptoms, today was a very bad day on the sickness scale. I felt ill most of the day and was unable to eat much of anything. I find myself getting very frustrated lately. I just keep thinking, you're thirteen weeks... you're supposed to be over this!! Why aren't you feeling better?

I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong. What do I need to do to be able to make it an entire day without wanting to crawl into bed and not come out? I know, realistically I can't really do anything but wait and hope for the best.

This evening after work I went wedding dress shopping with my sister. I wasn't sure I was up to going, but my mom was so excited about the "family event" I didn't want to let her down. I just took a package of my cheese and peanut butter crackers and hoped for the best. I ate a couple before I got to their house, and a couple more in the bridal shop and it seemed to hold off the nausea pretty well.

After dinner we went to this buffet restaurant that I am a big fan of. Unfortunately, in my condition what I ate could really have been classified as the child's buffet. Needless to say by the time we got back to my parents house I was more than ready to head for home.

13w1d

Today was a good day as far as symptoms go. I didn't feel sick at all and I was able to eat pretty much anything I wanted. For me, not feeling ill makes all the difference. Since I was feeling so well, I decided to start researching daycare centers.

My friend Danette was going to watch the baby, and still might, but last week as her and I were discussing it she mentioned that some mom's prefer a daycare center because they don't have to take days off of work if the babysitter is sick or her kids are sick. So she just thought it would be a good idea for me to put my name on a list and then if we end up not using it, fine.

At first, I was kind of taken back by this thought. I had just assumed, based on all of the conversations that we had that I would just be bringing the baby to her. However, the more time I have spent with this idea the more I am beginning to like it. Danette likes to travel a lot to visit family and some of the trips are kind of on short notice. With us being good friends, I'm afraid I would begin to be annoyed if I had to take several days off during the summer because she was out of town and I really don't want our friendship to suffer.

The major problem that I am facing, however, is that most of the centers have year long waiting lists. So basically, to get my child in at 6 weeks I would have had to register before I was even pregnant.

Today I made a list of all of the centers in our area. Then I called the one that we thought we would like the most. It is about 2 miles from our house and right on my way to work. Since I only live 15 miles from work and no daycare downtown is what I would call "up to my standard" we had decided that we would prefer one close to home. That way if the child was to get sick, either one of us could go, or my parents or his in a pinch. (We all live within 15 miles of eachother)

Now in West Des Moines I know that daycare centers can run between $180-220 per week for an infant. I realize that in parts of the country that is dirt cheap but here that is pretty expensive. The center that I called today is $165 per week but they told me they didn't know how long the waiting list would be. The director wasn't in so I left my name and number and was told someone would call me back. Since it was 3:30, I didn't expect it to be today.

So now that I've gotten the ball rolling I really sat down and looked at how much this was going to cost us. How do people do this again? I'm going to need to do some very creative budgeting in the next 6 months, that's all I know right now.

13w0d

Today was not as great as I would have hoped. The moment I got out of bed I knew I just didn't feel right. I wasn't sure I was going to be sick, but I didn't feel 100% either. I had a meeting at 8:30 so I knew I needed to get to work and lounging on the couch for another hour just wasn't an option.

For the most part, this is how my entire day went. I continued to try to eat throughout the day and never got sick, but I never felt 100% either. By the time I got in my car to head home I was certain that I was going to have to pull over on the side of the interstate. That's how bad I felt. So, I broke out the trusty peanutbutter crackers.

I ate two and felt surprisingly better. At least well enough to get home. Where, I ate more pizza than I have been able to stomach in a long time. And then, I was TIRED!! By 8:30 I was passed out.

12w6d

Today was a LONG day!! I started it arguing with Jake and I finished it doing the same thing. My nesting, or rather cleaning, instinct has kicked in and his mess and lounging on the couch has REALLY started to get to me. I just keep thinking when we have a baby I don't want to have to clean up after him and after the baby.

Now who knows, maybe at that time he will be different, but I would really have a much lower blood pressure if he would just do it now. Our kitchen is a MESS and Danette just cleaned a week ago. Grr!! It took me about 2 hours of arguments and such to FINALLY get him to mow the lawn. Now granted since we have had no rain the grass was pretty dead, but the weeds were having no problem growing making our lawn look VERY trailer park trashy.

Once he mowed the lawn, I just gave up on trying to get him to do anything else and I folded a couple of loads of laundry and then went to another movie with Jess. After the movie Jess, Shane, Jake and I all went out to dinner. Where, of course, I became annoyed again. He is working for his dad while trying to find something permanent and so money is not something we are swimming in and I felt it was COMPLETELY unnecessary for him to order desert for $7 when he didn't even finish his meal.

Now I'm sure that some of this is the hormones but I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that I will make it to January without hitting him over the head with a skillet and burying him in the back yard!! :-)

12w5d

Today was filled with sleeping and errand running. I woke up at 6:00, but wasn't really hungry. Jake and I decided to go out to breakfast at around 7:30 and we were back home by 8:30. I of course was now tired again so I went back to bed and woke up at 12:00 when Jess called to see what I was up to.

Once I was awakened, I was, of course, hungry so I headed downstairs to see what I could wrestle up. I ate some cheetos and a few other misc snack food and then decided I needed to take a shower and do something with my day. I headed out to Staples around 3:00 to buy a new computer bag and then ran downtown to make sure my new computer fit in it.

By the time I got home a little after 4:00 I was feeling the affects of not having eaten much. We were going to Boone to watch his cousin race on the dirt track so I didn't have much time but I managed to make myself a peanut butter sandwich and of course more cheetos.

By the time we got to the track at 6:00 I was feeling a little off. I decided maybe I just needed to eat a little more. I had a slice of pizza and some popcorn and that seemed to settle my stomach for a while. However, once the stands started vibrating from the really loud modified cars I didn't seem to be doing so well.

Before I was pregnant I could sit in those stands for several hours with no problem, but for some reason all night I kept getting a pain in my back and then my stomach would feel funny. I think I got up every 30-45 minutes for the entire 5 hours we were there to walk around. I've decided if we go back again I'm buying one of those padded stadium chairs with a back on it!!

12w4d

Today was even better than yesterday. (Should I say that? I might jinx it!!) I didn't feel sick when I woke up and I was able to eat and get ready for work in a reasonable amount of time without any sitting on the couch and deep breathing.

I still ate lunch at around 11:15 to fight off a mild bout of nausea but the munchkin and I had a nice talk on the way to get the food about how I had made it 48 hours without seeing the inside of the toilet and I was planning on making this a habit so s/he better just eat this food and be quiet. (I'm sure people in the skywalk thought I was a crazy homeless person muttering to myself)

It seems to have worked though. I ate my pizza and several snacks throughout the day but was able to make it through my whole day and not feel ill. I even worked late and only had the slightest ting of an upset stomach when I left.

Jess wanted to go see a movie so I ate the last two of the peanut butter crackers from the week before. On a side note, those things last FOREVER, and they don't melt. So, I'm going to get some and stash them in my car and in my purse so that I have something to snack on. (Yes Lindsay... I'm aware that they are probably filled with all kinds of bad things.)

Once we got to the movie I was pretty full from dinner, but I of course still had room for popcorn. I always have room for movie theater popcorn!! Since the movie didn't get over until around 9:00 I was pretty tired when we were done. I dropped Jess off and was asleep by 10:00!! (I know party animal on a Friday night aren't I?)

12w3d

Well, I finally made it to work today. I was an hour late... but hey... I got there. I woke up feeling pretty ill, but I was able to breathe through it and eat some breakfast which calmed my stomach enough to make me feel like I could head off to work. I didn't want to take the medicine again because of how tired it makes me, so I packed it in my sack of snacks and figured if it came down to it, I could take it and head home.

I did pretty well throughout most of the morning, but around 11:00 I started feeling pretty ill. I decided to bee line it for some food. Burger King (my sister would be SOO proud!!) was the only thing that sounded good and at this point if I can eat it and it stays down I can get my nutrients from vitamins!!

Once I had eaten I really didn't feel bad so I continued working on setting up our new computers. Around 2:00 I got that wonderful yucky feeling again so I broke into my bag o' snacks. The granola bar lasted me for about 30-45 minutes and at that point I decided I needed to do something different. So, a girl I work with and I walked down to my favorite popcorn place and I got some greasy, salty popcorn. (I can see my sister reaching for the e-mail button now to send me another artery clogging lecture)

Actually the popcorn was great. (Maybe not great for me... but it tasted damn good!!) It was also filling, which is what I was looking for. I was able to stay at work until 5:15 without feeling sick and when I got home I felt so good I called Danette and we went on a walk in her neighborhood from about 6:30 until 8:00.

Of course after all of that walking and feeling great I was beat. I fell into bed at around 9:00, just happy to have made it through the day without seeing the beauty that is the inside of our toilet.

12w2d

Today started out on a pretty crappy note. The first thing I did when I woke up after a fitful night of sleep was try to eat a saltine. During the night I had been up off and on with my headache getting worse. I did manage to keep about 4 ounces of water down, which isn't much, but was better than nothing.

Of course the saltine started out the par for my morning. It, along with any water I had recently drank, came right back up. It was at this point that I decided I could be in trouble. If I couldn't even keep down saltines how was I supposed to keep from getting dehydrated? As soon as 8:00 rolled around I called the doctor's office to ask for advice.

It took them about an hour to finally call me back and they told me they were calling in a prescription for me. Of course since I couldn't keep anything down they could not give me an oral medicine. However, at that point I would have done ANYTHING necessary to be able to eat and drink again.

I ventured out to the pharmacy about a half an hour later and by that point I was in pretty bad shape. I had not been able to eat or drink anything in over 12 hours and I was weak, tired and feeling pretty awful. I took them about 15 minutes to get my prescription ready and then I headed home.

The doctor had told me to drink Propel fitness water but I couldn't find it at the grocery store and was took tired to look very hard. I remembered that Jake had some gatorade at home and figured that would do the same thing. At 11:00 I took my first dose of the medicine and by 1:00 was amazed at how much better I was feeling. I FINALLY got to eat something and drank 2 or 3 glasses of gatorade.

The medicine, however, has one bad side effect. It makes your really tired. I feel asleep at 3:00 and didn't wake until 6:30. By 7:15 I was starting to feel pretty crummy again so I took a second dose of the medicine. I then ate a little and was passed back out by 9:00.

12w1d

Today was worse, much, much worse and then it proceeded right into awful before the night was through. It started when I awoke to my stomach in knots. No food sounded good. Everything I tried only made me gag or tasted awful. Finally around 5:00 I decided that maybe I just didn't have the right food so I went to the store.

Since I was already feeling bad I tried to make it a very quick trip. I purchased the very few items that sounded good to me, fruit, cheetos, and carrots & tomatoes. On my way home I called my mom and joked with her that I thought I might starve to death. And I was pretty sure this baby was going to be a vegetarian. "No one has died from this right? Cuz it really sucks!!"

Little did I know, little did I know. Jake was over at a friend's shooting off fireworks so I headed home and ate some tomatoes, a couple of carrots, some grapes and a few other miscellaneous items. I was feeling decent but not great. About 8:00 I decided to eat a granola bar and that's where things got worse.

Of course I didn't get more than a couple of bites of that down and I was running to the bathroom. At this point I decided that I would just stick to water and a couple of crackers. I also called Jake to see if he had drank anything. I didn't want him driving, even if he had only had one beer since it was the fourth. He said he had a couple so I told him I would be there at 10:15.

I left the house at 10:00, made it one half mile down the road and I was gagging. During this entire pregnancy I have never thrown up more than one time per meal, and most days not more than once per day. So, I figured that this would pass. It did not. I ended up pulling over on the side of the four lane highway and puking behind the car.

Of course in my being convinced that it was just a false alarm I also managed to get myself and my steering wheel. Great huh? Luckily I had paper towels and was not far from home. I cleaned up the car (not to bad) and headed back home. I grabbed some new clothes, and a bucket and headed out for the second time.

Once Jake climbed in the car and saw the bucket he knew things were not good. He asked if we needed to go to the hospital, since I was starting to get a headache from dehydration. I, of course, declined. It had only been a few hours and I was convinced I would feel better in the morning. I took my bucket upstairs and set it by the bed and fell into it, hoping for a good nights sleep.

12w0d

Well, today did NOT find me dancing a jig!! In fact, this morning I felt pretty crummy!! Jake had to work today, but I took the day off, which I was pretty glad that I did. I managed to snack on a few things throughout the day, but no actual meals did I eat.

Around 4:30 I called Jake to tell him that I did not think that I would be wanting to go to the barbecue at his friends house but if he wanted to go to do so and I would pick him up if he had a few drinks. He said he would probably go, because we had told them we would be there, if I didn't mind. I didn't mind. What was he going to watch me do at home? Lie in bed and feel ill?

Finally at around 6:00 I got this wave of energy. I suddenly felt like things were normal again. I got out of bed and decided to do a little more work in the office. I remember sitting in the office chair thinking, it's 12 weeks today, maybe this is it. It was it alright, but not the it I was hoping for.

My burst of energy lasted about 30-45 minutes followed by a huge wave of nausea. I hadn't been ill in 2 days so I thought maybe I could just breathe through it. Of course I was kidding myself. After that all I wanted to do was go to bed, but I still had to pick up Jake. I knew that they wanted to watch fireworks at his friends house and since there was nothing he could do for me besides watch me be sick I didn't want to make him come home.

So I waited and tried to eat a few crackers. Finally at 10:00 I headed over to get him. I think he had only had a few beers but with it being the 4th of July weekend I didn't want him to risk it. The nausea stayed at bay on the drive over there, but was not so pleasant on the way home. We got stuck in traffic as the fireworks had just gotten over. Luckily I still had a couple of the peanut butter crackers in my car from Friday night and so I ate those and was able to make it home and fall into bed.

11w6d

New day, much of the same. I did feel well enough to spend a little time in the office. I haven't filed paperwork in probably 9 months and I knew it needed to be done. Now that this little one is on the way I find myself thinking more and more about the big picture and the not so pleasant parts of it.

I know it sounds morbid, but I just want to make sure that this little one is not left in limbo should something happen. So, I am in the process of evaluating if I have enough life insurance and trying to make sure I get some for Jake. I also want to get the office in some sort of order so if something happens to me my mom will be able to come in and find everything she needs to do bills, etc.

My final thing is once I FINALLY get this office in order, which could take awhile, I need to get Jake and I an appointment to get a will made. (I know, aren't I horribly morbid.) But, it falls under the same category as the life insurance. I want this child to know that we had a plan, that we loved him/her enough to make sure that they were cared for and safe.

I think all these hormones are making me a little more practical, I just haven't figured out if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

11w5d

Today was a pretty off day. I spent most of the day in bed. I never got sick, but I felt pretty bad all day long. Finally at about 4:30 I dragged my butt out of bed to get ready for our couple's night. Even though I didn't feel great I figured I wasn't going to feel any worse there than here and at least there I would get to see my friends.

Overall I did pretty well at couples night. I did get sick (other end) which appears to be par for the course. Anymore I generally spend at least once a day being sick in the bathroom it just depends on the day which end is over the toilet.

Other than that, it was a pretty boring day in baby land. Hoping that 12 weeks will find me dancing a jig!!