20w3d

Tomorrow is the day of our ultrasound. So... as you can imagine that is pretty much all I talked about or thought about today. Every time I talked to Jake I would tell him how many hours until our ultrasound. In fact, I have no idea how I am going to sleep tonight knowing that in just a few short hours I will get to see this baby and possibly if s/he cooperates find out the sex.

I'm curious to see if I'm right about the boy thing. I have just had such a strong feeling since week five that I told Jake if they tell me it's a girl I may fall off of the table.

As for the rest of the day, it was pretty un-eventful. I started getting horrible leg cramps around 4:00 but I still worked late because I was trying to get a computer set up for a girl who is starting on Tuesday. We also have a big tax deadline on the 15th of September and since I have to be at Keith's wedding all next weekend I need to make sure I get a bunch of things done before then.

So tomorrow, after the ultrasound of course, I will have to go to work to try to get some more things done. I hope I can concentrate.

20w2d

Today I was much more comfortable as far as the stretched out feeling goes but I had this pain to the right of my belly button all day. About two years ago I had a pain there and after SEVERAL doctors visits they finally decided that it was probably an adhesion. The only way to fix an adhesion is through surgery so we left it alone at the time.

When I became pregnant I asked the doctor about this and he told me that the only way we would know if it was a problem was if it hurt when I started to grow. So, now that there is pain there, I'm thinking it may be the adhesion. I have a doctors appointment in two weeks so I will bring it up to them then.

Other than that pain, I also had some lower stomach stretching pain so once I got home from work I pretty much made it to the couch and stayed there.

20w1d

The word of the day today is uncomfortable. For most of the day I have felt like my stomach has stretched to capacity but there is nothing I can do about it. The baby is also sitting very low and so there is a lot of pressure in that lower area also.

I spent a large portion of the day just shifting positions trying to find one that was comfortable. However, never you fear, I still felt well enough to direct Jake in the tote moving to the attic when I got home and also to pack a couple more totes with his things.

I think with another day or so of work I may actually re-claim that closet. The next step becomes finding someone to direct me in the best way to make use of that space.

20w0d

Today I had one of my first cravings. It was a mild craving and if I would not have gotten it I don't think the world would have ended... but I could be wrong. Right at eleven o'clock I could taste Burger King french fries. When I first got the taste I thought it was too early however much to my delight I looked at the clock and realized what time it was.

By 11:20 I was eating trans fat filled wonderfully tasty french fries and they were G-O-O-D!!

The rest of the day was pretty un-eventful. I was warn out by the time five o'clock rolled around so I wasn't too upset when Jake told me he wanted to go fishing instead of helping me get things moved up to the attic.

Instead I spent the evening watching horribly awful Monday night TV. Man I can't WAIT until the fall season starts again!!

19w6d

Today I intended to sleep in, but as is so often the case when I plan these things someone always has to call and wake me up. Today it was my mom. She was calling to confirm that I remembered the family reunion at noon today. I did.

At that point there really was no use in going back to sleep as I would just have to get up in an hour, so I came downstairs to watch a little TV. I was going to pack some more totes but just couldn't muster that much energy that early.

At the family reunion I realized that I really am starting to look the part of a pregnant woman. Several people commented on it, some who knew I was pregnant and a couple who said, "Well I thought so, but I didn't want to ask until I heard someone else say something."

After the family reunion I mustered my second wind and packed up a couple more totes. Jake had to go help his dad do some yard work for his wedding in a couple of weeks so when I got to his things I stopped packing. I need to make sure I don't throw away anything too important.

I was hoping when he got home he could carry what I had already packed into the attic but he was tired and so hopefully I will be able to convince him to do it tomorrow. As for movement, I felt a little this evening. I was really hoping that now that I know how it feels I would be able to feel it all the time but apparently much to my dismay that is not the case. Maybe tomorrow.

19w5d

I was up when Jake got up this morning around 6:30. I had every intention of sleeping in, but as soon as I was awakened by him my stomach started rumbling. Apparently this baby is beginning to like food as much as his/her daddy. So, I got up to eat some breakfast. Lacking the twix bar which has been my staple breakfast food for the past two weeks, I settled for a granola bar and some cinnamon sugar toast.

As soon as he left for work I headed up to begin packing more stuff. I got the rest of the wedding books and papers packed up and then filled a couple of totes with some things I had brought from my parents house. Papers and old school assignments mostly and also some notes from friends.

About 11:30 I decided to take a shower and head off to Wal-mart for groceries and more totes. I picked up a lot of VERY expensive food items (it just kills me how we can spend so much on stuff we eat!!) and 3 more totes and headed home.

By this point I was so warn out that I just vegded on the couch until Jake got home. Once he got home he went out to mow the yard (or should I say hay field, yes it had been that long) and I headed off to get gas for the lawn mower. When I got to the gas station the price of gas had fallen to $2.49 and there were people EVERYWHERE!! Seeing as how they must know something about the shortage of gas that I did not, I filled up my tank along with the gas can and headed home.

After he finished mowing we sat down to watch another one of the movies we rented last night. While we were watching I felt this weird feeling in my stomach. "Jake, Jake... I think I just felt the baby move." Then it happened again in the same place. So, I'm pretty sure that is what I was feeling. It's strange, I kept waiting for the butterflies, and I have had a few flutterings in the past week, but nothing that I could say that is the baby.

When I felt this, I knew... that is the baby. Only it didn't feel like butterflies. It felt like someone taping me from the inside. Not painful, but very strange and wonderful all at the same time. I kept waiting all the way up until I went to bed for it to happen again, but it didn't.

19w4d

Today I decided to leave at noon from work. I was tired and had just been giving a large project to redo and there was no part of me that was really in the mood to work on it. Since I was leaving early, I called Katie to see if she wanted to meet me for salad and breadsticks. After all, that is the perfect way to make sure my weekend goes great, start it off with salad and breadsticks!!

After we ate I decided to stop by Lowe's and see if they had the giant tote for my Christmas tree. Since I didn't get it done last week I have decided that I should try to start getting things cleaned up and put into the attic this weekend. Upon entering the home storage area I noticed right away that they had a MUCH larger selection than the Lowe's on my side of town.

I found the biggest container that they had, 50 gallon, and I purchased that along with 4 smaller totes. Once I got home I pulled out the Christmas Tree and the middle section was too long. So, I tried to take it apart. I was able to take off the base, but the rest is all one piece. Once I got the base off I was able to angle the middle piece and get it in the tote. SCORE!!

After that, I just messed around with packing up some wedding things until Jake got home. He was tired and has to work tomorrow, so we just ordered pizza and watched a movie. I think it was 9:00 when I headed to bed.

18w6d

Today I got rid of our laptop computer. I had gotten it free from work about a year ago but had never really taken full advantage of it. For the past six or 8 months it has really just been gathering dust in our bedroom. Besides, my sister and my niece will get MUCH more use out of that computer than I have. I'm hoping that next week or next weekend I can clean up my other old computer and either take it to the dump or donate it somewhere.

I'm not sure if it is the nesting phase or what, but I am finding it more and more necessary to unclutter our spare room and office. Somehow, it is easier to let go of this stuff when I know that I am making room for something more important.

18w5d

Today I spent part of my afternoon looking for suitable plastic totes to store away all of the things that now reside in our spare room and our spare room closet. Since I'm not getting any smaller, and the baby is not getting any further away I figured there was no time like the present. The main thing I knew that I had to store was the Christmas Tree. Everything else I knew I could put in either large or small tubs, but the Christmas tree will take a very large tote.

Unfortunately I was unable to locate one at either of the two places I looked, so being tired and not really in the mood to clean anyway I just headed home. Once at home I took a nap for two hours and then I called Jake. He was fishing on the river and asked if I wanted to come and meet him.

Normally I would say no, but for some reason tonight I agreed to go. His boat is a little metal fishing boat which is not at ALL comfortable to sit in. Once we were anchored he set up this folding camping chair for me and I sat on that with a little more comfort. However, after about an hour and a half of just sitting trying to be quiet so as not to "scare the fish" I decided I'd had enough.

We headed back to trailer the boat around 10:30 and as we were going down stream I thought I may have felt the baby move. It was just a slight flutter, but I was almost certain that maybe, just maybe that might be it. Of course my thought then was oh great, now I'll have two of them that want to be out fishing all the time!!

18w3d

Today was my 18 week doctor's appointment. The most exciting part of the whole thing... the 40 minute wait in the waiting room. :-) No really, that is how late I was just to get back to the room where I could wait another 10 minutes. It was 9:50 when the doctor finally came in to see me and 10:05 when I got to my car. Short, sweet and to the point.

Part of the reason that they were late was because they screwed up on what I was actually in the doctor's office for. About 9:25 the nurse came out and grabbed my chart. She opened it, gave it a funny look, and then started filling out lab paperwork. That of course had me concerned because unless my AFP tests were bad I shouldn't need any more blood work. After she got the lab slip together she disappeared for 15 minutes.

All sorts of things were running through my head in that 15 minute window. Is something wrong with the baby? Is she giving my chart to the doctor so I can go straight to his office and he can tell me that something is wrong? Finally she came back and called my name. When I got to the scale she asked if I was just here for my bloodwork. Bloodwork? What bloodwork?

As it turns out, they thought that I was there for my AFP test and not my 18 week checkup. Once that mixup was cleared up they found an open room for me and the rest of the visit was somewhat routine.

The baby's heart rate looks fine. My blood pressure is a low 110/50. My AFP results had not come back from the lab yet, which is why they didn't know I'd already taken that test, but they called down and got a verbal confirmation that everything looked normal. I have lost 1 1/2 pounds in two weeks which kind of concerned me because I haven't been sick for two weeks.

So once the doctor got done listening to the baby I berated him with questions. Is my weight loss concerning? Should I put myself on a schedule and make sure I eat at certain times during the day whether I'm hungry or not?

No. My weight looks fine. At this stage the baby is still VERY small. However, if I don't gain anything in the next four weeks and don't start showing an upward trend after that then they will start to worry.

What about laying on my back? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm on my back. Am I slowly killing my baby?

No. Right now it is not that big of a deal. But in the next four weeks I need to start stuffing a pillow under my back so I can't roll over fully in the night.

Final question... we want to have a second ultrasound. He didn't even bat an eyelash at this one. He basically told me it was totally up to me if we wanted to do one in their office or at the non-medical place. He said if we went with the non-medical place it would be just that. No medical opinion, just pictures and a sex determination. If we went with one in their office they would measure the baby and check all the vital organs, etc. In the end, we decided to schedule the medical ultrasound. If I'm going to pay the money I would rather have them look at everything and not just the sex of the baby.

The ultrasound is scheduled for September 1st at 8:00 am. Two weeks and one day until I get to see my baby!!

17w6d

Today I blew my record of 3 weeks without throwing up out of the water. (Or rather into the water....) It was my own fault really, well actually... if we want to throw blame, I blame Jake. See at the fair yesterday the last thing I ate was some caramel apples at around 9:00. So this morning when I woke up at 8:00 all I wanted was cheetos.

I stumbled down the stairs, half conscious and pretty sure that every limb on my body was going to fall off, only to discover that last night after we got home from the fair the S.O.B. (and I mean that in the nicest way possible) had eaten ALL of my cheetos. Four other flavors of chips in the cabinet and he picks the ONE chip that I crave!!

So, in a fit of pouting and depression I whined to him about his horrible chip eating and then I drug myself back upstairs and into bed. The next time I emerged it was 1:00. At this point I figured it had been 16 or so hours since I had eaten anything and I should probably feed the munchkin.

So, I cooked a frozen pizza and collapsed onto the couch. I'm sure you can guess what happened next...

That's right, in my famished state I shoved down three pieces of pizza in MAYBE five minutes MAX and as I was taking one of the last bites I got that feeling. So... off I went. About 5 minutes later I was back on the couch, new pizza slice in hand taking teeny tiny bites. This time all was well and I managed to finish, and keep down, a couple of pieces.

So you see... if he had not eaten my cheetos I would have eaten at 8:00 and then I wouldn't have been sick. That's my story and I'm sticking too it!!

The rest of my day found me so warn out from all of the walking yesterday that I just lounged on the couch until about 5:00 and then did a couple of loads of laundry and was asleep by 9:00. Pretty ambitious huh?

17w5d

Today was State Fair day!! Ever since I found out I would be pregnant at the fair I have had only one thing on my mind. Mmmm... fair food!! How much could I eat and not feel guilty since I was eating for two??

Luckily, I no longer feel sick. Unfortunately, I have yet to gain that killer appetite that a lot of pregnant women get so what I ate today was what I would have eaten on a usual fair day. In fact, maybe even a little less. It's a pity really, I was really looking forward to it!!

Anyhow, as it turns out it wasn't the food that killed me today, it was a combination of the heat and the walking. Once we were done walking around and we made it back to our car the only words I could utter were, "I'm not getting out of bed tomorrow!!" I seriously feel as if I have been hit by a truck.

And to make matters worse, we park at our friends dad's house which is at the TOP of a hill. A VERY LARGE hill!! I had to walk up that hill four times today and sometime in all of that climbing I managed to strain my groin muscle. At least I think that's what it is, what ever it is it hurts like hell!!

So, while the fair was fun I do NOT recommend it for an out of shape pregnant woman!! I can't even imagine how much worse I would have felt if I had been any bigger!!

17w4d

Today I got a phone call from Jake around 11:15 saying that he had put a nail through his finger and had to go to urgent care to have it pulled out. I knew immediately that my weekend would be much different than I had planned.

You see, little one, your daddy has the lowest pain tolerance of any person I have ever known. By the way he was carrying on you would have thought he put the nail through his heart and not the tip of his finger. Now, I have no doubts that it hurt, but what would he do with himself if he had to do something like oh I don't know... birth a baby??

Since he was "dying" our evening was pretty low key. Since my epiphany yesterday in the meat eating department I picked up Wendy's for us at about 6:00 and then I laid in bed and was asleep by around 9:00.

17w3d

Today's great accomplishment... eating meat. No really, that's it!! Around 11:00 I had a craving for a BK double cheeseburger so I figured what they hey, let's try it out. I went down and got one, came back to my desk and low and behold I at the whole thing without feeling sick.

I know this may not seem like something all that great, but believe me... this opens up a whole new doorway into the world of things I can eat!! Wonderful things that are in NO way good for me but taste delicious!!

17w2d

Today I feel like I might finally be getting my appetite back. I woke up feeling pretty ill, so I started out with a granola bar and by the time I got to work was hungry again. Since meat hasn't been going down so well I just had fruit and a salad for lunch.

In usual fashion, I couldn't eat very much but did continue to eat on the fruit and then some popcorn and then a twix bar about every hour throughout the afternoon. As I headed home I had a hopeful optimism that MAYBE things were starting to make a turn around.

Since I have been feeling a lot better lately, I have had more time to spend worrying or rather questioning things. For instance, next week I have my 18 week appointment. At this appointment I will ask my doctor about a second ultrasound to possibly find out the sex of the baby. In my doctor's office the only ultrasound that you get is one between 10 and 12 weeks to date the pregnancy. After that, they just assume everything is fine unless you get a bad blood test or you are measuring too big or too small.

Lately this has started to bother me. Originally I just figured that if the doctor's office would not make up a reason to do an ultrasound so insurance would pay for it I would just go to this place that does "elective" ultrasounds. The price is about half and I will still be able to find out the sex of the baby as well as general health. (i.e. the baby does not have two heads)

However, it is the not so general part hat I'm now wondering about. I hear all of these women talking about their 20 week ultrasounds and now I'm really wondering why most insurance carriers in our area won't pay for one. Wouldn't it make sense to do an ultrasound at this point to make sure there are no heart/lung/brain/limb defects? Wouldn't this possibly save the insurance company money because maybe something could be done to correct these things or at least diagnose them sooner so less testing would be needed at birth?

When I go in next week I will discuss this with my doctor. My guess is that his answer will be that they don't do one because insurance won't pay and why they won't pay is anyone's guess. So I guess my biggest grip right now is why do insurance companies have to be such penny pinching @$$'$? Shouldn't my baby's health be first and foremost not their bottom line?

17w1d

As is the story of my life today found me worrying about the munchkin once again. I got on the scale bright and early this morning and noticed that I still have not gained one pound from when I got pregnant. Now granted, I was a good 15 to 20 lbs overweight when I started, but I just figured by this point I would be starting to "grow."

So when I talked to Katie this afternoon I mentioned this to her and she, as always, was very reassuring. The baby will get what it needs from you and don't worry about not "growing" you are changing more than you realize.

However, just for good measure I went home after work and downed 3/4 of a small cheese pizza. Then once Jake got home I pulled out the doppler. Sure enough there s/he was. Right below my belly button. Once I heard that ka-thunk, ka-thunk I instantly felt 100% better. Now if I could just feel some movement!!

17w0d

I'm come to the very sad conclusion that as much as I hate to admit it, my little munchkin is a vegetarian. Now as you can probably imagine, this is causing all sorts of problems for me. My usual diet consisted of burgers, chicken strips and cold meat sandwiches. Now it consists of fruit, salad and the occasional war I choose to fight to get a little meat down.

Whom ever told the little one that cows, pigs, and chickens are friends and not food should be punished severely!! I guess this just goes to show that this little girl/guy is showing me early that I am no longer in charge when it comes to my life. S/he is!!

Now I don't get sick when I eat meat I just FEEL like I'm going to be ill. Knowing the signs from 4 or 5 weeks spent hanging over the toilet, I have NO desire to go back there again. So, if I choose to fight that battle I will eat one bite of something meaty and then eat something else for a minute or so. Then I can usually sneak in another bite.

This has caused all sorts of problems when deciding what to eat although I'm sure I'm healthier for it, well except for the fact that I now eat all of my fries and only half of my burger!! :-) Hopefully once this baby is born s/he does not continue the vegetarian lifestyle. I'm not sure we'd know what to feed him/her as hamburger helper is not just a meal in our house, it has often times been a staple food group!!

16w6d

Today I spent most of my day lying on the couch or in bed. Every time I would stand upright I would get these pains in my lower abdomen. I thought maybe they were round ligament pains but they lasted most of the day.

Sometime in the afternoon I could stand the sitting still no longer and so I let my cleaning neuroses take over a bit. I started vacuuming the living room a little at a time. If the pain would be uncomfortable I would crawl on my hands and knees so that my belly hung down and then I could clean under the couch, under the chair, and behind the movie stand.

Finally I decided I'd had enough cleaning and I sat down again. At this point I wanted to listen to the munchkin to make sure that all was right in his/her world. I pulled out the doppler and placed it about two to three inches below my belly button which was where I had always heard him/her before. There was nothing. I then moved side to side and lower, still nothing. I was starting to get really panicked when I remembered reading somewhere that my uterus is moving up this week towards my belly button. Sure enough there he/she was. Right below my belly button ka-thunking away. I listened for quite awhile and then I put the doppler away and just relaxed.

If the pain is still there tomorrow I think I will call the doctor to make sure it is not a urinary tract infection or anything.

16w5d

Today I did A LOT of running around. It is at times like this that I am thankful that I am no longer wanting to throw up every time I don't eat for 15 minutes. However, with that said, it also makes it easier to neglect eating often enough which I think I did today.

I started off good, with a glass of milk and a few mini donuts. However once I left at 12:00 I didn't think to eat again until about 2:00. At 2:00 I swung by home and grabbed a peanut butter sandwich and then it was off to do more running. About 5:00 I stopped again for an apple and then we headed out to the race track.

I figured the all you can eat buffet was just the thing I needed to make up for lost calories. Unfortunately the baby didn't seem to think so. Lately I can only eat small amounts of food at a time. I will eat about half of what I used to eat and then I either feel full or I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Add to that the fact that eating meat has not been agreeing with me lately and I got one salad, half a scoop of mashed potatoes, a little bit of chicken breast and a roll for dinner tonight. Oh... and a bowl of ice cream, must not forget the ice cream. I must find a way to stretch my stomach before we both starve!!

16w4d

Today was pretty uneventful. When I got to work I had a craving for chocolate, so I began a vicious cycle which I'm sure will just continue throughout this pregnancy, I had a twix bar for breakfast. Mmmm.....

For lunch I thought I would do something a little more healthy so I went to get some fresh fruit from this place I had gotten it from yesterday. However, when I got there, I was feeling cheap and fruit was $4.75 for a 12 oz container. So, I went to Burger King instead.

Looking back, I should have just gotten the fruit. I only got about half of my burger and fries down because I have to eat so slow as to not feel ill. As you can imagine, by about 3:00 I was hungry again. Lucky for me I had bought the KING size twix bar, so I finished that off for my afternoon snack and then headed home around 4:00.

Once I got home I immediately broke into our fruit drawer and pulled out an apple. Then Jake and I sat down to watch the Chronicles of Narnia since I had to return it tonight. I had seen it all last weekend, and he had seen the first 45 minutes so we only had about an hour and a half to watch.

Sometime in the last 15 minutes of the movie my sister called with computer troubles. So after the movie was finished I returned it to the store and then headed over to her house to help her out. The first thing I did there was back up the computer which ended up taking almost two hours.

While I was waiting I talked to my mom who told me to come next door to my grandpa's because my cousin and his wife and three kids were in town. I figured at their house would be food so I headed on over. Unfortunately they had already eaten and I didn't want to be rude and dig through the fridge so I only had a few chips.

When I got back to Deb's she had popcorn so I had a little of that. I think this is the first time since I've been pregnant that I can remember eating so little yet not feeling really crappy. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. At about 11:00 I gave up on the computer for the evening and promised her I would be back tomorrow!! At that point I was too tired to be of any use anyway.

16w3d

This morning I had my AFP test. Now as most of you remember when we decided to do this test I was all for it. However, today as I was walking into work after having my blood drawn I started to really think about what the results of this test meant and suddenly I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.

I mean I still believe in all of the reasons that we decided to do this test, I just think as time has gone by, what I'm willing to do has changed. If the results are not fine I am definitely willing to jump right into a level two ultrasound. There is no risk to the baby from this and diagnostically they can rule out several things by doing one.

If, however, the problem can not be resolved by an ultrasound I'm just not sure how willing I am to have an amnio or any other evasive test. I love this baby so much already and I'm so protective of it that I can't imagine doing a test that has a risk of miscarriage without there being a medical necessity. Especially when it would be just that, a miscarriage. My little munchkin is too small right now to survive on his/her own.

However, down the road, say 30-32 weeks if they still think that an amnio is necessary I think I may be willing to change my mind. At that point it would most likely be a premature birth situation that we would be risking and while I don't WANT that most babies born at that gestational age do very well. However, with as strong as my feelings are to protect this child now, I have a feeling by the time I get to that stage, I may feel differently.

16w2d

Today was a day of all around worrying that started out bright and early and didn't finish until I was drifting off to sleep. This morning I was reading an article in one of the parenting magazines about talking to your children about sex. It wasn't really the article that got me worrying. I'm sure when we get to that point we will think of something, it was just the overall realization that this baby is going to grow up.

Suddenly it hit me that we are responsible for shaping the development of an entire person. What if we screw it up? Are we destined to be guests on Dr. Phil or Montel in 15 years?? This little one isn't even here yet, they haven't even started crossing any milestones like say breathing AIR, and already I'm trying to make sure I'm prepared for their future.

After I finished with my first mini freakout of the day I thought maybe I should actually go to work to do things like... oh I don't know... WORK!! Once there I managed to spend most of my day completely oblivious to the fact that I am growing another human in my stomach. That is, of course until I left work.

After work I met a friend of mine for dinner. I tried to eat some chicken fingers at Chili's, as they have really good chicken fingers, and I was able to get one and one half down. I also ate half a bowl of potato soup so I got decently full. Although lately just not throwing up is a plus in my book!!

Once I got home I decided I wanted to listen to the baby's heartbeat. I was really surprised when I found it to not hear the woosh, woosh, woosh sound. Instead I found that the heartbeat was REALLY loud at times and when it got really loud and I got the doppler in the right place his/her heartbeat was now a Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk, Ka-thunk, just like a regular heartbeat.

I suppose that this means that my little munchkin is getting bigger. However, I'm not ready for bigger. What happened to my little peanut? I'm 16 weeks pregnant and already I'm wanting him/her to stop growing so fast.

I spent the rest of my evening watching America's Got Talent and lamenting over how fast my little one was growing and how before I knew it I would be having the baby. Why didn't anyone tell me the worrying and the wanting them to stay small started so early?